Learning

Baby girl,

This post will be in vain, I know that already. I wish you could learn from my mistakes and avoid them in your life, but that's not how things work. But I suppose it's still worth a try.

I want more than anything for you to learn that being happy is the only thing in this world that you can and should spend your time trying to control. You'll hear it a million times, a million different ways, but life is far too short to spend it unhappily. Sometimes you will have short periods of unhappiness that lead to far greater periods of happiness, this is inevitable. The trick there is being able to accept that maybe the greater happiness you were anticipating isn't really possible, and maybe that unhappiness you're enduring isn't going to be temporary. That's a tough call. I want you to believe in the good in people, and situations, and sometimes that turns too easily into an unrealistic view of what good can actually come.

While you can control your happiness, you can't control the happiness of others. And since we're genetically linked, I'm sure it'll be in your nature to try. You've got to learn to let that go little one, it'll drive you mad and leave you frustrated. There are people in this world that fail to realize that they control their own happiness, and they'll blame anything and everything for their unhappiness. Don't be one of these people. You can ALWAYS choose to be happy. In any situation. I spent nights in the hospital right after I was diagnosed with cancer that were some of the happiest of my life. While I'll do me best to keep you from experiencing that kind of fear and pain, I know already I will fail, and all I can hope is that you can see the good in the situation and rely on the many many many people who love you to be there making you laugh the entire way.

I'm trying hard to figure out what sort of life you're going to have, or I guess, what sort of family set up it'll be. Your life will be filled with happiness and love, I have no doubt about that. Your Dad's role is still to be determined. I wish that I could had given you a traditional family, but I think it's far more important to have happiness than tradition. I want you to learn to look out for yourself, to learn that you are never stuck, that you should never be disrespected or belittled, and that if every day you are struggling to find a way to be happy that you need to find the strength to change your situation. The easy thing and the right thing are rarely the same little pea.

I cannot wait to meet you. I have dreamt of you for as long as I could dream, and I promise that for anything you are lacking because of the situation you're being brought into, I will more than make up for it in any way I can. I love you more than 2 parents ever could, and we have a whole army of family ready to do the same. Life will be good to you little one, I will do everything in my power to make sure of it.