Strength

Kid,

I wish I knew exactly what lessons I needed to teach you to help you avoid ever getting into the situation I've found myself in now. I look back at the last few years and I knowingly made so many bad decisions in regards to the relationships I got myself in. The strangest part of it all, is that I knew the entire time that I was making bad decisions, I could see the red flags and know that if I respected myself I would walk away, and for whatever reason I couldn't make myself do that. I'm not sure why I'm lacking this ability, or at least haven't developed it yet, but I am aiming to make sure you are raised with an inherent ability to recognize your worth and walk away from anyone or anything that doesn't value you as much as you deserve to be valued.

You, my dear, were not ever a part of the bad decisions I've made. I would not in a million years change anything that got me to you, never have I doubted for even an instant how much being a Mom means to me. I was thrown some curve balls (as you will probably be thrown to, despite my best efforts to prevent them), and life didn't go the way I had always planned. I was faced with a choice - take the risk of not being a mom, or be patient and hope I meet the perfect guy before my health issues make being a Mom impossible. I chose you.

I am sorry that I couldn't give you the family that many of your friends will have, but I will do my best to make sure you're never lacking as a result. Your Dad is not a bad person, and you will likely pick up a lot of positive traits from him. He is very smart, he's good looking, and he's funny...I'm sure you'll be the same. With that said, there are things I am glad you will not learn from him as I don't think they've done him any favors. I do not now, nor will I ever hate your Dad, he gave me you because he knew how much I wanted it.

So baby, we will work on teaching you to respect yourself enough to walk away from a bad situation, and I will try my best to learn the same.