Baby girl,

After that last post I made the poor decision to try it again. I so desperately wanted you to be raised with your Dad and your brothers that I convinced myself I could keep you from the stress. Baby girl, you may have a tendency to take on everyone else's problems as your own, to try and fix them. I'm not sure if that's genetic or the way I was raised, but let me tell you...you are not responsible for anyone's happiness but your own.

I'm trying to be strong, and it's hard because I know your Dad is hurting, and I know he needs help. But little one, nobody deserves to be treated the way I've been treated, and I don't want you ever seeing it and thinking it's ok. I want you to know what a good, solid, loving, respectful relationship looks like...and at this point your Dad and I are not capable of that sort of relationship. It's still too early to say what his involvement in your life will be, it's too early to say what will happen when he hits rock bottom, but I need to be strong enough to get us out of this situation before you are witness to things you should never be witness to. I love you very much and, for you, I will do my best to stay strong and do what's right for us.

You are very loved baby girl, and you always always will be.